Being a parent is a hard job and sometimes it’s easier to lie to your kids to end the constant barrage of questions.
Fact: Parents lie to their kids. It’s parenting 101. We know that honesty is the best policy, but sometimes it’s just easier to stretch the truth for the good of all involved. It’s much easier to tell your toddler that “The television only works when it’s raining,” instead of explaining to them that they have had enough screen time and debate over YouTube being considered screen time.
Yes these are little white lies but, they are born strictly out of convenience. They’re specifically designed to get the result we want without having to field a barrage of questions.
So sure, we invent alternate realities and crazy reasoning to help us achieve our goal. It works. Can you blame us?
1. No, the ice cream truck music means they’re out of ice cream.
2. This chocolate bar is actually really spicy so….
3. Disneyland is closed today. Mickey’s Mouse is sick!
4. The TV only works when it’s raining.
5. Oh no! Someone must have stolen they very loud drum toy.
6. You can stay out playing if you want… just keep a look out for that bear.
7. Santa called! He wants you to take a nap.
8. Internet lady is turning off the world’s internet for the day.
9. They don’t give you ketchup at drive-thru.
10. The lunch lady from school calls me when you don’t eat your sandwich.
11. The cat is allergic to Moon Sand, so we can’t have any in the house — for her safety.
12. You didn’t get money from the Tooth Fairy last night? Maybe because she couldn’t find you in this mess!
13. Sorry, they don’t sell replacement batteries for that toy.
14. There are no cartoons on at night because that’s when the characters are sleeping.
15. No, this isn’t a brownie. It’s a healthy breakfast bar with lots of spinach and avocado in it. Would you like one?
16. Chuck E. Cheese’s is only for birthday parties and you have to be invited to one to go there.
17. No, we can’t go there. It’s closed today.
18. I’ll spray some “Monster-Be-Gone” under your bed just to make sure…
19. Those animals on the side of the road are just taking a nap.
20. If you eat enough vegetables, your body makes them taste like candy.
21. If you don’t clean up your toys, ants will come in and steal them.
22. When you cry, it makes the airplane go slower.
23. When you lie, your ears turn red.
24. Oh, this isn’t Coke. It’s black coffee water. You probably wouldn’t like it.
25. Do you want me to call Santa Claus and let him know how you’re acting?