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Kids say the darndest things, and also the damn right creepiest.

A simple miscommunication between adults and kids can send a chill down your spine. Kids don’t understand death, but know that most adults don’t like to talk about it and are even highly fearful of it. Their comments about death seem all the creepier because they do not understand it.

1Sweet Dreams…

My 6-year-old daughter came downstairs from her bedroom and said “Dad, i think Kacey is dead”, that’s my 3-year-old daughter. Of course i ran up to make sure Kacey was ok, at which time my oldest daughter raided the cookie jar.

I was changing my 2 1/2-year-old daughter’s diaper when she reached up and touched the side of my face. She looked in my eyes, and said, “I love you, but I never should have married you.” It was a week later that I realized the babysitter had shown her “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”, and that it was a line from the movie, not something my wife was practicing saying in the mirror.

“I’m watching you make my sandwich so that when you die I will know how to do it.”

My daughter had some imaginary friends for a couple of years named Dodo, Ghana & The Evil. They just sort of appeared out of nowhere when she was about 2.5 years old. It started with Dodo and Ghana, then a few months later (she was about 3 at this point) she came up to me and told me with a creepily expressionless face: “The Evil is coming over today” and just walked away.Turns out, The Evil was actually a pretty nice imaginary friend, she just had an unfortunate name.

Getting my two and a half-year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied “Oh, nobody ‘scroofs’ me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I’m here.” She said this like it was nothing. My wife and I were catatonic.

My little brother said something similar to my grandma.”I like this mummy better than my last mummy. My last mummy locked me in a room and I drank some paint and died.”

My cousin’s kid when he was around 4 or 5 came into the bathroom as I was straightening my hair. He closed the door, looked at me and said: “I don’t want to kill you.”

My sons were about 2 and 4 when their pet goldfish died. I attempted to use the situation as an opportunity to discuss death and mortality. After I finished my explanation, my four year old looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and asked, “Mommy, someday, will you die?” My heart filled with love and a little sadness, knowing this was one of those pivotal moments when the first bit of childhood innocence was lost,and I told him yes, someday, mommy will die.”Good,” he said with a totally deadpan expression, and walked out of the room.Later when we were about to flush the fish, he asked if we could eat him instead. I said no, we don’t eat pets because we love them, and he said, “When you die, I’m going to eat you.”

When I was probably around 6 or 7, I had no idea what sex was or how making babies worked. I just thought that if you loved someone, you’d eventually end up being pregnant and having a baby. So one day, I randomly said to my dad “one day I might end up having a baby with you”. Which probably creeped him out no end.

While Playing classroom with my three-year old brother he made an off-handed comment about being in my mothers belly twice. I was amused and said oh really. He proceeded to tell me in amazing detail being inside our mother. He told me about it being warm and that he liked it but he always felt sick. One day he got so sick that “they” came and told him he had to leave. He didn’t want to so they promised him he would get to came back again and back to our mom. So he left and they let him come back again and this time he didn’t feel sick. I lost my mind and started screaming for my mother. He told her the same story then after she stopped crying we were not allowed to talk about it. I was ten and I was old enough to remember that she had a miscarriage almost 1 year before my brother was born.. Side note I’m not religious but my brother always kinda makes me wonder.

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