Like us on Facebook:

A dad’s hysterical texts to his wife after their son vomited in the back seat are going viral

Recently, a squeamish dad posted some screenshots of text messages he sent to his wife after their young child puked while driving home in the car. His accounts of the incident are hilarious and it’s got parents everywhere laughing in sympathy.

It all started one night after Ben Patterson he met up with his wife, Stephanie, to swap cars so she could go out with some friends that evening and he could look after the kids. Shortly after the swap, his son, Declan, unleashed hell and whelched up the foulest of pukes. Patterson took a picture and sent it to his unsuspecting wife, who didn’t respond to his texts. Things went downhill pretty quickly from there:

Toddler Barfs In The Car, Dad Freaks, Epic Text Exchange Ensues 1

So this just happened

I just pulled over and am trying not to throw up myself

Call me

I just threw up trying to clean him up

It smells SO BAD

This was only the beginning for Patterson. Disgusted by the smell and being a self proclaimed ‘sympathetic vomiter extraordinaire’, Patterson followed suit and starting throwing up himself, all while pulled over near some random lady’s front lawn. Naturally concerned, this lady accused him of drunk driving with his kids in the car and she called the cops on him:

Toddler Barfs In The Car, Dad Freaks, Epic Text Exchange Ensues 2

I seriously don’t know what to do, I’m barfing every time I try to clean him up

I’m puking on some lady’s lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I’m drunk while driving the kids

I’m trying to explain that I’m a sympathetic vomiter and can’t handle the smell

This is so bad

Aaaaand now the cops showed up

Aaaaand now a breathalyzer


Toddler Barfs In The Car, Dad Freaks, Epic Text Exchange Ensues 3

meanwhile Declan continues to barf



At least I passed the breathalyzer

Trying to drive home with the windows down and breathing through my shirt

Patterson sheepishly passed the breathalyzer with flying colors and was finally able to finish the drive home with his still-vomiting son in the back seat. He ended up with a bizarre story that will be told around campfires for generations, and all it took was  a preoccupied wife, a concerned bystander, the police, one sick kid and a sympathetic vomiter extraordinaire.

Get updates straight to your inbox.

Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.