We had ‘Parent Sex’ yesterday. We all know what parent sex is, it’s that 3 minutes you get in between changing diapers.
Whether you just had a baby or have a flock of little people running around your house at all hours of the day, one thing is for sure: your sex life will never be the same post baby.
Constance Hall is a mom of four busy kids and knows the familiar struggles we all face in trying to have ‘parent sex’. There is a small ‘sex’ window of 4-5 minutes new parents have to work with, somewhere in between feeding, diaper changes and napping.
The fact of the matter is that having sex as a parent is just plain harder. No pun intended.
Instead of pretending that she and her husband have the ultimate sex life post kids, Constance posted a very real (and funny) post on Facebook:
We had “parent sex” yesterday.
You know what parent sex is, it’s that 3.5 minutes you get in between changing nappies and making food,
where you notice that all of your kids are pretty distracted,
Where you realise it’s been almost a month since you banged and are starting to feel like flat mates,
Where your husbands seduction consists of one finger pointing towards the bedroom and the other hand on his dick,
Where you position the bed to have one foot against the door because for a loud bunch of kids, yours can be pretty quiet when they’re sneaking up on people,
Where no matter how hot it is you chuck the doona on top of yourselves in case someone manages to barge through and catch mummy and daddy doing “yoga” in bed,
It’s a pretty romantic scene really, listening to Iggle Piggle in the back ground, knowing your days are numbered when you here the add break.
Men are amazing and impressive creatures, by sheer determination, it’s inspiring how one can manage to “finish” under such circumstances, us women, aren’t always so easy.
All the while gleefully thinking about how much of a sex goddess, vixen you are and how your fella is finally going to stop being an arse for at least a whole day.
Well mine was pretty impressed, even if I just lied there, saggy boobs, baby belly pouch, hairy minge and all, he still thinks I’m amazing.